Don't Judge a Nerd by His Sweater Vest
by Lizzy Borg
Summary: Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid meet at the FBI Academy and soon hate each other's guts. They learn to at least cooperate, and after a terrible accident finally become friends. Rated T for violence and swearing. NOTE: NOT SLASH!
1. Reid vs Morgan

**Don't Judge a Nerd by His Sweater Vest**

**By Lizzy Borg and MTLupy**

**A/N: So... This is the chapter where Morgan and Reid meet, and Gids has some trouble keeping them from them from killing each other. NOTE AGAIN: THIS. IS. NOT. SLASH. ****I wrote wrote this chapter from our roleplay and the Morgan parts, while Lupster wrote the Reid parts. We both worked on the other less important characters and Gids. It may be a little OOC, but this also takes place five years before the first season, so...**

**Warning: References to Extreme Agressor and Jones (we gave Ethan a last name, because he was sorely lacking one). **

**Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN CRIMINAL MINDS OR ANY CHARACTERS BESIDES MEGAN COLLINS AND SETH NORRIS. WE DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE LIST OF PEOPLE WE INCLUDE. WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE LAZY! I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU'RE READING THIS AND NOT DOING YOUR HOMEWORK. ^ - ^**

_"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path." - Paulo Coelho_

Monday, September 18, 2000_  
_

Derek Morgan wasn't sure what the scrawny kid in the sweater vest was doing in this room, and definitely didn't know what he was doing in FBI training, of all places. He couldn't be older than 16, and was staring around like he was expecting somebody to attack him. When the guy next to him jokingly elbowed him in the ribs, the kid nearly jumped a foot in the air before scowling at his friend.

A woman with a commanding air and her hair pulled back into a bun marched into the room, her blue eyes flashing over the FBI recruits. A man with dark hair followed her. He had friendly eyes and many laugh lines. The group of about 30 people settled down and all found places to sit.

The woman cleared her throat. "All right cadets, welcome to the FBI Training Academy. I am Supervisory Special Agent, or SSA for short, Erin Strauss. Today, I will be charge of training the women in this group. The men will go with SSA Jason Gideon. Most of the rest of your training will be co-ed. Now, since you will all be living together for the next five months, you should all introduce yourselves. Let's start with you." Strauss pointed at the scrawny kid.

"Sp-Spencer Reid."

"Ethan Wojciechowski." Reid's friend said. The introductions, all very simple, went around the room until they came to Morgan.

"Morgan." He said, pitching his voice lower than normal, and then pulled off his sunglasses with a flourish. "Derek Morgan." That was met with the expected amount of female giggling. Strauss rolled her eyes.

"I'm Megan Collins." A red haired woman said with an Irish accent.

"Seth Norris." said a man with dirty blond hair said. "And yeah, I am related to Chuck Norris." This statement was followed by more laughter, and Norris smiled.

"Jennifer Jareau." She was blonde with blue eye - not a giggler.

After a few more introductions, Gideon clapped his hands together. "All right, then. Men with me, women of course stay here with SSA Strauss." He led the group down the hallway to a gym with mats on the floor. "Self-defense, men. Let's see what you're made of." He consulted a list. "Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, you're up."

Morgan raised his eyebrow at the scrawny kid who stepped over awkwardly after being slapped on the back by his grinning friend, Ethan. _Oh, this is too easy. _Both men faced off.

"Go!" said Gideon.

In one quick practiced move, Morgan put Reid into a tight headlock, but Reid quickly managed to get out, gasping. "Fine," said Morgan, grinning in spite of himself, "You can get out of this one, can you get out of _this?_" He lifted Reid onto his back and slammed him against the wall. The crowd gasped.

On the ground, Reid shook his head a few times and blinked dazedly.

"All right, break time," said Gideon. He threw Reid an icepack, but the kid threw it back stating that he didn't need it.

Mockingly, Morgan said "How did you get into the FBI if you can't even defend yourself?"

Gideon gave Morgan 'The Look.' "Back off, Morgan." He turned to Reid. "You all right, kid?"

Reid managed to get to his feet. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Ignoring Gideon's warning, Morgan said, "Question still stands."

Reid glared at Morgan. "Well… I _do _have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words a minute. I also have three Ph.D.'s in Mathematics, Engineering and Chemistry. And for your information, I _can _defend myself. It's just a bit hard when I'm being held in the air. I'd like to see you try it."

_Oh, he wants to play _this _game, did he? _Scornfully, Morgan said, "I was a Chicago police officer, have a black belt in Judo, and teach self-defense classes. I think I can take on a toothpick like you."

"So… you both have different talents. That's good." said Gideon, trying to break up the fight.

Reid ignored Gideon. "Don't you know that it's a _really _bad idea to insult someone with a higher IQ than you?" Without Morgan realizing, Reid hit him in the face, and knocked his legs out from under him. Morgan fell to the ground, hitting his head hard, despite the mats.

Through the blur of pain and humiliation, Morgan could hear Gideon say, "Reid, why didn't you do that before?"

"I guess I'm used to defending myself after being attacked first." Reid said turning towards Gideon.

Morgan used the distraction of Reid's conversation to kick him hard in the back of the knee, causing him to fall to the floor. But Reid managed to take Morgan down with him.

"Cadets, that's enough!" said Gideon, but was ignored. Again.

Morgan stood up, dragging Reid up by the front of his sweater vest, and punched him in the face. Reid retaliated by kneeing him in the gut. Morgan grunted, but tried to punch Reid again when Gideon intercepted his fist, and had two other students drag them apart.

"You two!" The formerly easy-going agent looked furious. "Sit. Now! That is an order! I will talk to you later." After the two men when sat on the bench that Gideon had pointed at, he had the other students wrestle, allowing Morgan and Reid to simmer.

It was humiliating to listen to the laughs and whispers of the other men as they filed out. Gideon waited until Ethan had winked at Reid and left before he closed the door and came to stand before the two.

"What was that about?" He asked, arms crossed. "When I tell you to stop, you stop." Morgan clenched his teeth and glared at Gideon's feet, resentful and silent.

But _of course _Reid had to answer. "Technically speaking, he started it. So don't look at me."

Morgan groaned and had to speak up. "I thought I was _supposed_ to beat him up."

"That doesn't mean slam me into a wall! And we were _supposed_ to be practicing self defense."

"I was helping you practice self-defense."

"Still, that was a bit overdone, don't you think?"

"Have_ you _ever been slammed into a wall before?"

"Yes. Repeatedly." Reid said bluntly. "You think I don't have any real world experience? You think Chicago is hard? Try being twelve-years-old in a _Las Vegas _public high school!"

"What, you think I was a bully?"

"I bet you totally beat up kids like me back in school." Reid said. Morgan couldn't figure out what to say - it was true, after he got onto the varsity football team, he had bullied dorks just like any other high school athlete. "Let's just face it - I'm smarter than you."

_Ouch. _

"You have book smarts. I have street smarts. Let's just face it - I'm _stronger_ than you."

"I can think of _100 _more options than you."

"You can't act them out though! I can, which is way better than any of that strategic shit you can come up with." Morgan said, enjoying seeing Reid rise, his face flushed and his hands clenched into fists.

Gideon put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "Just sit down, kid." he said. "Relax."

Morgan couldn't resist jabbing a little harder. "Yeah, _kid."_

Gideon ignored the comment. "Look, we have the both of you in mind for the same unit. You're going to need to learn how to work together. Your lives very well may depend on it some day."

Both young men looked scornful.

"Ha!" Reid said wryly. "I'd like to see that!"

Morgan secretly seconded that emotion, but of course he wasn't going to _tell _anybody that. "Why would you stick _me _in a unit with a brainiacs? Or _him_ with a bunch of tough guys?"

"All brawn, no brain." said Reid, turning on Morgan again. "You wouldn't last a day in the BSU."

_Ouch. _

"All brain, no brawn." Morgan responded hotly, provoked by the attack on his intelligence. "You wouldn't last a day… anywhere. If we end up working together, you won't see this brawn working too hard to save your ass."

Gideon sighed, rolled his eyes, and left the room.

There was an awkward period of silence as they wondered where Gideon had gone. Then Morgan remembered something confusing that Reid had said.

"What _is _the BSU?" he blurted out.

Reid laughed, obviously caught off guard. "Are you joking?"

Irritated by his condescension, Morgan said, "Excuse _me _if I don't know everything."

Reid began reciting, speeding up as he talked. "The BSU stands for Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI. It's part of the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime, or NCAVC, and uses behavior sciences to assist in criminal investigations, most notably profiling. The mission of the NCAVC and the BSU is to provide behavioral based investigative and/or operational support by applying case experience, research, and training to complex and time-sensitive crimes, typically involving acts or threats of violence…" He trailed off, noticing Morgan's slightly shocked expression.

Morgan recovered quickly enough to come up with a comeback. "You _really_ need to get out more."

Reid scowled. "At least I actually _use_ my brain."

_Again with the all brawn, no brain crap. _

"_I _use my brain. I was on the bomb squad. Idiots aren't trusted with explosives."

Reid laughed wryly again. "That's debatable."

Morgan was stung. "I bet you just got out of college, _kid_."

Reid leapt up again. "For your information…" He was cut off by Gideon entering the room with a determined expression and another clipboard. He handed Morgan and Reid each a piece of paper.

"Those are your room assignments. Your things should already be in your rooms." Morgan glanced at Reid's, hoping that the rooms would be very, very far apart. He was very disappointed.

"Rooms? You mean _room!"_ He said. Reid grabbed Morgan's paper out of his hand and stared at the number, as if willing it to change. Gideon winced slightly.

"What?" said Reid.

"You did this on purpose!" Morgan accused.

Calmly, Gideon said. "You two need to cooperate. This is the only way I can make it happen."

_The two young men glared at each other, their frustration with Gideon forgotten. The long-time profiler prayed that he wasn't wrong this time. "Please let this end well… Please let me be right…" _


	2. Reconcilliations

**A/N: Well, this is the chapter where Reid and Morgan continue to bicker over... well, everything. Will they learn to live with each other, or will the rooming situation continue to deteriorate? (Hopefully you know what the answer is if you've seen the show.) And yes, we realize that they share a room. But again, THIS IS NOT SLASH. As this is told by Reid, MTLupy wrote it. And edited it. And edited it again. (She's a perfectonist.) ((And she may or may not have broken into Lizzy's account to fix typos she found... ^ ^))**

**Warning: References to The Instincts, Memoriam and Profiler, Profiled. **

**Disclaimer: We do not own Criminal Minds, any characters within the shows, of the FBI. That is the job of CBS and the American government. **

Tuesday, September 19, 2000

_"Hello?" Spencer Reid called out with a slight hint of fear in his voice as he walked around the seemingly abandoned house. "Is anyone home?" _

_He should've known where he was, but for some reason couldn't remember. That wasn't like him. He continued to wander the house calling out, hoping _someone_ would hear him. He came across a certain door and he suddenly felt compelled to open it. He walked down the stairs and found himself in a very familiar basement. Anxiety crept into his mind as he neared the washing machine and dryer. There was a little boy over there…a _dead_ little boy… Oh God…! _

Reid jumped awake and yelped as a loud horn played, the wakeup call at the FBI Training Academy. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and shook the nightmare off. _It was just a dream_, he told himself. _Just a dream_.

Morgan groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. "You were sleep talking _all_ _night_."

Reid felt his cheeks burn and got up to grab his contacts. When he discovered they weren't on the desk where he'd put them the night before, he glared angrily at his new roommate.

"_Real mature_, Morgan."

Morgan pulled the pillow off his head and stared at him. "What?

"Where did you put them?"

"Put what?"

"Quit playing dumb," sneered Reid. "My contacts!"

"You wear contacts?" Morgan asked, confused.

Reid groaned in exasperation. "Well, _obviously_!"

"I thought you were the reading glasses type... I didn't see them, _obviously_."

"Just tell me where you put them!"

"_I_ didn't put them anywhere! Did you lose them, or something?"

Reid was getting sick of this game. He'd thought that he'd left the bullies behind in high school. "I didn't lose them! You_ took _them!"

"Read my lips Smart Ass: I. Didn't. Take. Your. Contacts," Morgan said, getting out of bed and started to get dressed. "I didn't even know that you had them!"

Reid balled his hands into fist. He _hated_ being called a smart ass. "That _would_ be the reason why I had my contact case with me!"

"And when was I supposed to see this supposéd contact case?"

"Last night. When I put them on the desk."

"I was in the bathroom," Morgan said as if Reid were an imbecile. "Did they fall off the desk, maybe?"

"Gee. If only _I'd_ thought of that!"

"Hey, there's no need to take that tone with me, Brain Boy. Look, I didn't move them. If _I_ were going to prank you it would have been with something less…amateur."

"I see someone has an inferiority complex..." Reid said under his breath.

Morgan pulled his shoes out from under his bed and began to put them on. "I. DIDN'T. TAKE. YOUR. DAMN. CONTACTS. You must have lost them."

"You're a coward," Reid said coldly, his voice full of contempt.

Morgan stopped what he was doing and slowly looked up at Reid. "What did you just call me?"

Reid stood up and imitated what Morgan had said earlier: "Read my lips Smart Ass: You. Are. A. Coward."

Morgan got to his feet. "Don't. You. EVER. Call. Me. That!" he said. His voice trembled with cold anger. "You may have been beat up during high school, but adults must have _loved_ you. _Mr. Brilliant_, _Child Prodigy_. Well, I never had anybody treat me like that. Nobody could afford that in the neighborhood I grew up in. I saw my father _die _in front of me when I was _ten_, so don't _dare _you go calling me a coward! I bet you never had to escape from a gang with nothing but a switchblade! You know how to read, how to do math problems. But you don't know how to live when you're not special!"

Reid shook his head and laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I have _so_ much love. My mother could barely take care of herself, let alone a child, and my father," he scoffed and hatred filled his voice, "my father abandoned us when I was ten. I was never treated "special" because of my brain. Teachers _might've_ favored me because I was the brightest student, but _not once_ did they ask me about how I was doing outside of class! Practically everyday after school the bullies would come after me. Sure, I probably couldn't've of fought my way from a gang that was armed, but I _sure as hell_ could run. When I couldn't get away, I'd take whatever they'd throw at me. You don't know how much it hurts to have broken ribs and not be able to get to a doctor, so you just have to suffer through it! So yeah, I was treated like a prodigy all right, I was treated as a _freak_!"

He knew he had shared too much, but it felt so good to yell at this man he was being forced to live with and look of shock on Morgan's face was great. He was tried of people thinking his life had been perfect because he was a genius. It never had been and it never would be.

After a moment Morgan pointed behind him. "Found your contacts."

As Reid turned around to saw them lying half under the bed, Morgan left the room and slammed the door.

Reid sighed and followed him out the door. "Derek!"

Already halfway down the hallway, Morgan stopped and turned around. "What do _you_ want?"

Reid, still in his pajamas, caught up to his roommate. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flipped out like that..."

"I didn't take your contacts."

Reid bent his head in shame. "I know. I'm sorry. I must've dropped them when I was putting my pajamas on."

"I don't like being called a coward."

"I-I didn't m-mean it. S-sometimes my m-mind just moves s-so fast that I-I can't always pr-process what I say, usually wh-when I'm angry. I c-can't help it. I'm s-sorry," Reid said, his voice trembling.

"I understand."

Reid looked up, half-smiled and extended his hand. "L-let's start over, all r-right?"

Morgan took the hand slightly begrudgingly and shook it. "Okay."

_Jason Gideon looked over from the end of the hallway to catch the two men who had quarreled yesterday shaking hands, obviously making nice. He had to smile. Cadets were never hard to profile._


	3. Ethan vs Morgan Part One

**A/N: Sorry that this chapter took so long, but unfortunately you cannot hand in Chapter 3 of Don't Judge a Nerd by His Sweater Vest in script form instead of a Global DBQ on interdependence and feudalism in the early Middle Ages. I've argued with New York State about this to no avail. Sigh… And we had to decide how to break it up into different parts because it's really long. So stay tuned for part two! One other thing- we call JJ Jennifer in this chapter because Morgan and Reid don't know her as JJ yet. **

**References: Jones, once again because of Ethan. **

**Disclaimer: We do not own any character or place in this chapter. We do, however, own Morgan's (and Lizzy's) love for WAFFLES! (Lupy says "No more waffles!) and (Lizzy says "THE MORE WAFFLES THE BETTER!) :D **

Tuesday, September 19, 2000

As the two men entered the café, Morgan wondered about the reconciliation that had just occurred. After the fight yesterday, the bickering that evening and the restless night full of Reid's sleep-talking, it was no wonder the two of them had snapped. But the strained quiet was almost more unsettling than the quarreling.

Reid stepped up and grabbed a mug and coffee. Morgan surveyed the breakfast offerings with a hungry eye.

"WAFFLES!" He said, grabbing a pile.

Reid turned to face him. "Wha-?"

"Don't you like waffles?" Morgan seriously _loved _waffles.

Concerned for Morgan's sanity, Reid said, "I haven't had them since I was in college."

Morgan couldn't resist a chance to tease Reid about his age. "So a month ago, right?" he said.

"Very funny." said Reid. "More like five…"

Morgan shook his head. "Kid… just… never mind."

"What?" Reid said defensively. "My aunt used to make them every Saturday. Susie and Renée liked them."

"Aunt? Susie and Renée?"

"Yeah, I lived with my aunt and uncle and their two daughters when I was going to college." Reid said.

"Why?" asked Morgan.

Reid squirmed. "I couldn't _exactly _live in the dorms." _Of course not, child genius._

"Well then…" Morgan said, patting Reid on the shoulder, "Have waffles." Reid rolled his eyes but did as suggested.

Reid's friend rushed up to them. _What was his name? Ian? Edward? _

"Spencer!" he said. "Hey, what's up, man?"

"Hey." said Reid.

Morgan was still trying to figure out his name…_Edmund? Eric? Ivan? Wait… got it!_

"I saw you yesterday." Morgan said to Reid's friend. "You're… Evan."

"No." said Reid. "Morgan, this is _Ethan _Wojciechowski. Ethan, meet Derek Morgan."

_Ethan (Remember. That's his name) _grinned. "So, you're the one who kicked Spencer's ass yesterday. Nice to meet you."

They shook hands as Reid awkwardly stared at his feet. "Well, technically-"

"Yes, I did." said Morgan, cutting him off.

The blonde girl, Jennifer rushed in and ran straight into Ethan, who whistled under his breath and helped her up. Reid smacked Ethan in the back of the head.

"_Shut up._" he warned Ethan. Morgan slid on his sunglasses, grinning at the blonde woman now staring defiantly at Ethan.

"Excuse me." She said, and moved to slip past Morgan to the cereal, but Ethan blocked her way.

"Where's the rush, beautiful?" he asked.

Jennifer glared. "Move it, douche bag. You don't want any harassment issues, do you?"

Ethan moved aside, his hands up in mock surrender, the smug smile still playing around his lips. "Oh, _ow. _Right below the belt." The blonde slipped behind Ethan and grabbed her breakfast.

_Good thing I didn't say anything like that… _Morgan thought, but couldn't stop himself from flirting with her. "I'm Derek Morgan. It's _very _nice to meet you." He said.

"Whatever." Jennifer said, darting past him, apathy instead of the usual interest Morgan got in girls. He shrugged it off though, eyeing the other girls at the table Jareau walked to.

"Rejected…" said Ethan.

"I didn't see _you_ getting anywhere with her either."

"Touché." He said, patting Morgan on the back. "I'll see y'all later." Ethan walked off toward the tables where most of the female cadets had pulled up chairs.

"How do _you _know _him_?" asked Morgan.

"We went to school together." said Reid.

"_Another _genius?"

"Erm… not so much…" Reid squirmed, and Morgan raised an eyebrow. "He was six years older than me… so you know; he was the age you're _supposed _to be in high school and college…"

"What's your point?"

Reid shrugged. "What's yours?"

Morgan was tired of this. "That you need to eat more waffles."

"What is it with you and waffles?" exclaimed Reid.

"_Everybody _likes waffles…" Morgan grinned. "Like everybody likes _me_."

Reid laughed obnoxiously. "…Are we going to sit?" They did, at a small table a little bit away from the girls' table. "So… um…" he said.

"Why did your dad leave?" asked Morgan bluntly.

"_Excuse _me?" Reid's tone was defensive and high-pitched.

"You said your dad left."

"That's not exactly an appropriate question to ask." He said. "I just met you yesterday!"

Morgan mimicked Gideon. "'You need to learn to cooperate, boys…'"

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't use proper etiquette!" Reid said, rightfully angry about Morgan's question.

He decided to back off of the young man. "Fine then, if it _disturbs_ you."

"It doesn't disturb me; it just isn't any of your business." They sat there for a few seconds, Morgan trying to figure out what to say.

"What's it like to live in Vegas?"

Reid took the subject change in stride. "Different than how you probably expect."

"How so?"

"I'm going to bet you probably think it's all just one casino after another? Sex and murder at the heart of the city?" Reid was clearly disdainful about the stereotype of Vegas.

"Yeah… pretty much."

He sighed. "Well, it isn't, not where I lived. I didn't really live by the casinos, I was more like in a suburb, but not… do you get what I'm saying?"

"The sex and murder part without the casinos?" Morgan asked.

Reid snorted. "No, that's pretty much just the Strip. I lived in North Las Vegas, closer to Summerlin, so a quieter, more upper-middle to middle-class neighborhood."

"Oh…" said Morgan, unsure what to say because he wasn't really that interested in the answer anyway. "You know, I've never been to Vegas."

"Really?" asked Reid. "You seem like the type who would."

Morgan doubted that Reid had forgotten about the lack of money he had grown up in. "Remember what I told you?" he asked, making his voice sharp.

"Yeah, eidetic memory." Reid tapped his own skull. "But you're like… 26 now."

_How could he not realize the neighborhood Morgan had grown up in? _"Never had… enough money." he said tightly.

"Neither did I," said Reid. "But plenty of lower-class people still go there…" Morgan glared, resentful at being classified as lower class. Quickly and awkwardly, Reid said, "And I'm not _technically _old enough."

Suddenly interested, Morgan sat up. "How old are you, exactly, kid?"

"19," the young man said but quickly continued. "But I'll be twenty in a few weeks."

"You're kidding!"

"No! I was born on October 12, 1980 at 5:38 AM!" said Reid defensively.

"Oh, I'm definitely allowed to call you "kid", then." (Morgan was about six years older.)

"You're what, five or six years older than me?"

Morgan glared, irritated that Reid was right. Was he _ever _wrong?

Reid smiled. "Ok, five and a half. You _are _26."

_Right. Damn. _"Fine, then what's _my birthday_?"

"Hmm…" Reid rubbed his chin dramatically. "Well, obviously sometime in 1974. Before September, right?"

"Whatever you say."

"Yes. Let's say June."

"Fine."

"July." _No!_

"Uh… sure."

"Midmonth."

"If you say so."

"July 17th."

"Yes." _You're getting too close…_

"July 19th, 1974."

"Dammit." Morgan said ruefully. "How the hell did you do that?"

Reid looked too smug. "Well, your class ring says you graduated from college in 1992. So I knew it had to be before September. I just used deductive reasoning after that."

"_How _though?" Morgan really wanted to do that.

Reid shrugged. "You told me."

"Oh, come on!"

Reid exhaled sharply, obviously not wanting to tell his secrets. "When I got closer, you would pause slightly or stall before answering." His voice grew slightly condescending. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a classic human response."

Morgan groaned, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. "To think I might have to work with you people!" He pushed his long-empty plate to the side and propped his feet up on the table.

Reid flinched, almost imperceptibly. "Don't do that."

Pleased that he had finally found a way to push Reid's buttons, Morgan kept his feet up. "Why?"

"You're getting the table dirty." Reid's voice was slightly higher with irritation. "People eat off of that!"

Morgan raised his eyebrows but put his feet down, suddenly feeling guilty for purposefully irritating him. Reid obsessively cleaned the table with a napkin.

"Seems I've struck a nerve." Morgan muttered.

"I just like… order." Reid said, not meeting his eyes. _OCD much? _

"Look, I can't psychoanalyze you like you did to me, so can you please just tell me why?"

"Could I say I'd rather not?"

Morgan groaned again. "You could, but then I could say that your ability to profile me is an unfair advantage that I don't have."

"Have you ever heard that life isn't fair?" said Reid.

Morgan rolled his eyes. "Do all people like you constantly profile other people?"

"What do you mean, 'people like me'?"

"People who I might have to work with."

"I don't know." Reid admitted. "I can't speak for people who aren't me."

"I thought you knew everything!" Morgan said with fake astonishment.

Reid scowled. "Well, I don't."

Morgan stroked his chin. "Well, imagine that."

Reid squinted his eyes and glared, giving Morgan a scathing look.

Morgan laughed. "Do you know what you look like right now?"

"Spencer Reid?"

"Oh God…: Never mind."

"What? I believe I look like myself." Reid said.

Morgan rolled his eyes and glanced over at Ethan, who was talking earnestly, grinning at Jennifer who looked about to snap. Literally, just about to snap _his neck_. "Well, I see that your friend is having some luck with the ladies." He said sarcastically.

Reid groaned and put his head down on the table.

Morgan laughed, but stopped suddenly. "What the hell?" Reid lifted his head up, not really paying attention.

Jennifer stood up, kneeing Ethan in the crotch. "Now, for the last time, LEAVE. ME. THE_. HELL_. ALONE!" Ethan doubled over, and Morgan grinned. All of the girls at the table laughed and clapped.

Ethan limped over to where Morgan and Reid were sitting, watching the spectacle. Well, Morgan was watching. Reid was staring off at a spot somewhere right above a window.

"I give up." Ethan said.

"Good idea." Morgan said, still laughing slightly.

Reid nodded absently, still staring off into space. Ethan mocked his expression, over-exaggeratedly.

Morgan gestured at Reid. "You knew him before, what's up with him?"

"He's thinking." Ethan stood up right in front of Reid's line of vision. "EARTH TO SPENCER! DO YOU READ ME?"

Startled, Reid yelped and fell backwards off his chair. The entire room full of cadets burst out laughing. Reid flushed and rushed out of the room, leaving Ethan and Morgan at the table. Despite the fact that he had been purposefully antagonizing Reid since he had met him, Morgan was surprised to find himself angry at Ethan for embarrassing the young man.

Morgan sighed. "I thought you were his friend."

Ethan turned to see Morgan frowning at him. "That doesn't mean I can't laugh at the things he does."

"Not stuff you cause."

"I didn't _cause_ anything." Ethan snapped.

"You startled him"

"So? He fell over himself. If there's anybody to blame, it's gravity."

Now Morgan was _really _mad. "No, _you're _to blame. You made him look like an idiot when you yelled at him and he fell on his ass."

"So what?" asked Ethan, raising his voice a notch. "You hardly know him, what do you care?"

"I _care._" Morgan met his tone.

"I do too."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE HIM FALL OFF OF HIS CHAIR, ASSHOLE!" yelled Morgan, unable to keep his voice down. Heads all over swiveled in their direction, and the entire room fell silent.

Ethan rose to his feet in response to Morgan's tone. "SO WHAT? LIKE _YOU _NEVER TEASE YOUR FRIENDS?"

"HOW CAN YOU CALL HIM YOUR FRIEND WHEN YOU _HUMILIATED _HIM?" Morgan yelled.

"YOU KNOW WHAT-?" Ethan raised a fist but was interrupted when SSA Erin Strauss' sharp voice interrupted the fight.

"I'm going to need you two cadets to come with me. Now."

_Shit. _

"Look what you did." said Ethan quietly.

"Quiet, Wojciechowski." Strauss said. They reached her office. "You two will sit here until breakfast is over. Then we will discuss what happened."


	4. JJ, not Jennifer

**A/N: Hello, there… This is a really short chapter, but we wanted a conversation between Reid and JJ to make them friends. Plus to get Reid to start calling her JJ 'cause it feels sort of weird to call her Jennifer all of the time. This chapter was written by MTLupy. **

**Warning: Reference to Jones, guess why. **

**Disclaimer: We do not own Spencer Reid of Jennifer Jareau, but we **_**do **_**own Jenny, aka Jennifer Jones. (Yeah, MTLupy named her Jenny.) (Lizzy named her Jones, much to Lupy's chagrin. :( )**

Reid was sitting on a staircase outside, wondering why he kept sneezing, when a bell rang signaling the end of breakfast. The blonde from earlier came out alone, and he felt like he had to apologize for his friends' obnoxious behaviors.

He jumped up and caught up with her. "Excuse me?"

She turned around and rolled her eyes, obviously recognizing him from breakfast. "What do you want?"

"To apologize for my friends. They were being rude…especially Ethan."

She laughed. "I'm used to it… But thank you." She paused, thinking of what to say. "I'm Jennifer Jareau by the way, but my friends call me JJ."

Reid offered his hand. "I'm Spencer Reid." They shook hands.

"So what's a guy like you doing hanging around with guys like _them?_" Her tone made it obvious whom she was talking about.

"Ethan's a good guy, he's just having a rough time."

"His 'girlfriend'" she made air quotations "dump him?"

Reid frowned, contemplating on what to tell her: he definitely couldn't tell her that Ethan's mother had recently killed herself in front of him. "Um… actually his mom…died…"

"Oh." JJ blushed, realizing her mistake. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"Please don't tell him I told you though."

"I won't." she promised. "But what about Derek?"

Reid half-shrugged. "I just met him yesterday."

"But aren't you training to be a profiler?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Shouldn't you be able to size people up?"

"I'm 6'1", the same height as him." Reid said.

JJ rolled her eyes. "I mean what his _personality's_ like."

"Oh."

"So, what's he like?"

"Dominant personality." Reid said automatically. "Prankster. Has an inferiority complex, but tries to hide it…"

JJ sighed. "Does _everybody _have to have dysfunctions?"

"Well, they say no one's perfect." Reid sneezed and rubbed his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm allergic to something."

"Here." JJ handed him a pink pill. "Benadryl. Helps with allergies."

Reid looked at her suspiciously.

She laughed. "I'm allergic to pollen, not a drug dealer."

He half-smiled and took the pill. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. It'll make you drowsy though."

"I'll survive."

"Spencer Reid, please report to SSA Erin Strauss' office immediately." A voice called from a nearby speaker.

"What'd I do?" he demanded, but the voice didn't respond.

JJ laughed again. "Someone's in trouble." She said in a sing-song voice.

Reid rolled his eyes, said good-bye to JJ and headed off to the main office building.

"Where is SSA Erin Strauss' office?"

A pretty brunette looked up at him. "Who are you?"

"Dr. Spencer Reid." He probably could have left out the "doctor" part.

"Oh, okay." She led him to the BSU. "It's right over there." She pointed to an office up a flight of stairs.

"Thank you…" he looked at her name tag, "Jenny." She smiled and left. Reid took a deep breath and headed up the stairs.


	5. Ethan vs Morgan Part Two

**A/N: Hey there, beloved readers. I have a good excuse for it having been so long since I last posted. I was in a detention center on this moon-sized super laser/space station until this wannabe Jedi and his obnoxious buddy rescued me, along with this walking carpet. We barely made it out and then the bad guys followed us back… long story short, the big evil dude's dead. **

** Reference is made to Jones, guess why!**

** Disclaimer: We do not own Criminal Minds(unfortunately) or Star Wars(even more unfortunate). **

As soon as SSA Strauss when back to breakfast, Ethan groaned and slumped down in the bench. They resembled two little boys waiting in the principal's office, except the principal was an FBI agent who carried a gun.

"_Not_ my fault." said Morgan.

"Not _my _fault." Ethan snapped back.

Morgan flared right back up. "_You _were being an idiot!" He ignored Ethan's dirty look and plunged on, "_How _can you say that you're his friend?"

"Have you asked _him _about it?" Ethan asked. "You weren't there in school."

"I've asked him," admitted Morgan, "but he won't answer my questions."

Ethan laughed smugly. "Of course not."

"Don't do that high-and-mighty act with me."

"_What!" _Ethan protested. "I'm just saying, he's not very…open…"

Unable to control the impulse to find out more about his mysterious roommate, Morgan blurted, "What's up with his mom?"

"What do you care?" said Ethan defensively. "It's none of your business!"  
"It is too!" Morgan said instinctively, but then had to grasp for a reason why it _was _his business. "Agent Gideon wants to assign us both to the BSU."

"Your point?"

"That if we work together, I need to know how he's affected by things." Morgan said.

"He's a strong kid, he's been through a lot," Ethan said stubbornly, "But don't let his appearance fool you."

Morgan gave him a searching look. Reid didn't seem that strong to him after that outburst this morning. "You aren't going to be a profiler, are you?" he asked.

Ethan snorted. "Who cares?"

"I don't wa-" Morgan began to say when Strauss marched into the office. The two men shut up immediately.

"All right," she said wearily. "In my office." Both cadets followed her.

Morgan felt he had to fill the awkward silence while she stared them both down. "Ma'am, I do have a good reason for that. " he said.

She glared at him. "Cadet Morgan is it?" he nodded. "I believe SSA Gideon had some trouble with you yesterday as well."

"Yes." Morgan said.

"So you already have one mark against you." she said. Morgan's jaw tightened. "Just tell me what happened." She said, and Ethan opened his mouth. "Not you, Wojciechowski."

"Which time?" Morgan asked.

"Let's go both, for good measure."

Tightly, Morgan gave his side of the story. "The first time was just… a self-defense attempt taken a little out of control. It's been taken care of. This time, Ethan yelled at Spencer Reid, causing him to fall off of his chair. I disagree with Ethan's statement that Reid is his friend."

"But he _is _my friend!" Ethan protested. "I've known him for years!"

"There's a difference." Morgan said.

"With what?" said Ethan.

"There's a difference between knowing somebody and being their friend."

"Do you know how many times I stood up for that kid?" Ethan demanded.

"No."

"He wouldn't be _here _right now if I didn't help him."

Strauss held up one finger and picked up her phone. "This is SSA Strauss. Hello, Jenny. Yes. Yes. Could you page Cadet Spencer Reid for me? Thank you dear. Yes. Okay, bye." Ethan snorted with laughter, and Strauss glared.

After a few awkward minutes, Reid came into the office, his eyes slightly red, like he'd been crying. "Yes?" he said.

Strauss wasted no time with pleasantries. "Please tell me why there was a… disturbance in the cafeteria between these two cadets earlier."

Reid blushed. "I fell down."

"Why?"

Reid looked down at his clasped hands, trying not to look at Ethan or Morgan. "Ethan startled me."

Strauss turned to Ethan. "_Why?" _

Ethan floundered for a reason. "Because…?"

"That's not good enough, Ethan." Strauss said. Morgan wondered briefly why she wasn't calling him Cadet like she did to Reid and Morgan.

"What do you want me to say? That I pushed him over?" Ethan demanded. "Is that what you want from me, Ms. Strauss?"

"Somebody who says "because" when asked for an answer has something to hide." Strauss.

Ethan glanced down and quietly said, "I don't know. I just thought… I don't know."

"I thought better of you, Ethan." Strauss said. Morgan was confused, they knew each other from outside of the FBI?

Ethan glared at Strauss. "I can't tease my friend? We used to tease each other all the time! Is that illegal now?" He half rose, his face flushing with anger.

"Don't make this worse for yourself, Ethan…" Reid said quietly.

"_Shut up _Reid!" Ethan snapped. Reid flinched, looking hurt and confused from the lash from his old friend.

"You aren't a child anymore, Ethan." Strauss said, getting caught up in the wave of tension sweeping through the room.

Reid stood up to get the room's attention. He turned to Strauss pleadingly. "SSA Strauss, it really doesn't matter… I'm fine…"

Strauss looked dubiously at him but nodded. "If you say so… Cadets Morgan and Reid, dismissed. Ethan… I need to talk to you."

"What the hell?" Ethan blurted.

Reid and Morgan left the office and wandered back to the Academy through the BSU. There was an awkward silence as Morgan wondered what Ethan and Strauss had in common, and what she had to talk to him about. "Where now?" Morgan finally asked.

Reid rubbed his eyes tiredly. "We have a break for a bit. Didn't you read the itinerary?"

"No," Morgan said bluntly, "I think I put my gum in it."

Reid smacked his forehead. "_Why _would you do that?"

"It was the only piece of paper I had!" Morgan said defensively.

Reid shook his head. "You are… _disgusting…_"

Morgan shrugged. "Hey, look at it this way. I didn't litter."

"How do I know that?" Reid demanded. "You could have easily thrown it on the ground afterward. That's a federal offense you know-"

Morgan rolled his eyes, trying to cut off Reid's rant. "I didn't. Point is I don't have it."

"We'll try to get you a new one later then."

"Or… you could give me yours." Morgan said. "I bet you've already memorized it."

"If you go to the office you could flirt with the secretaries."

"True… OK, maybe your idea's better."

"My ideas are always better." Reid said smugly.

Morgan patted Reid's shoulder. "If you say so." He walked away, leaving Reid looking confused. 


	6. I apologize but

**I'm very sorry, dear readers but I'm afraid we will be unable to update ****Don't Judge a Nerd...**** for a long time. MTLupy and I have had a falling out, and reconciling does not appear to be in our future. I feel that I can't continue it for those of you who want me to because this was a team project. To continue it without her would be wrong, and disrespectful to the memory of our friendship.**

** Please accept my sincerest apology. It's been great writing for an audience such as yourselves. **

**If you would like to know how the story was going to go, please send me a message and I will let you know.**

**Regards, Lizzy Borg. **


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